Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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