Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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