I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
