i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
