I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
