im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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