Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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