My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You're like the curious george of whores
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
