My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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