Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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