I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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