Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
