The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
did i just pee glitter
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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