My room smells like vodka and shame
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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