I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
