No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
