the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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