last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
