i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
