My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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