Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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