I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I died a long time ago.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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