dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
