guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
