Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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