Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
