I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize