Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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