don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
someone owes me an orgasm
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize