Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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