Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize