The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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