I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
