we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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