the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
