Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
