It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
