stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
