well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize