You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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