Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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