PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
