I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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