The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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