Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
