Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
