uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
