it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
