areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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