Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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