Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
