i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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