i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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