I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
