And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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