Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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