i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
