i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
