So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
