i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
