whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think i have two assholes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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