Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
