You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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