I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
