I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize